Friday, February 15, 2013

Humour: Useful Work Phrases

As another departure from the topics on which I normally post, I have included the following phrases which one might consider using in their respective work places or other relevant circumstances where one might need to deal with less than pleasant people.

Although I really wouldn't encourage frequent use of these phrases, their use in situations where it is apt and precise can nonetheless be highly gratifying.
  1. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. 
  2. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist. 
  3. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 
  4. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental. 
  5.  I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care. 
  6.  I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid. 
  7. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!? 
  8. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. 
  9. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. 
  10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you. 
  11. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of karma to burn off. 
  12. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial. 
  13. No, my powers can only be used for good. 
  14. How about never? Is never good for you? 
  15. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me. 
  16. You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication. 
  17. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

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