By the Nightcrawler Lucien Lacroix
(The following transcript was forwarded to CERK Radio ina small cassette tape and the cassette tape was played as the Nightcrawler's final broadcast in his absence.)
Life is a gift. As sweet as the freshest peach, as precious as a gilded jewel. I have never been able to understand the logic of willfully surrendering such a treasure.
How dark can your existence be when compared to an eternal void. Unless, of course, you have faith that there is something beyond.
What do you see from where you stand? A bright light at the end of the tunnel? Is it a ray of hope? A glimmer of something better? Or will it burn you like the rising sun? Are you hearing the trumpeting of St. Peter's angels or the screams of Memnoch's tortured souls?
You can't answer that, can you? Because you will never know the answer until after the deed is done. And is your faith really that strong?
I understand the need to move on. It is something that happens to us all. But if your time has truly come, I also understand that with the beauty of this life,there comes pain and despair. No one is immune. But consider what you have in your hands! Don't trade a treasure for an empty box!
What about love? Heaven makes means to kill our joy with love . It's suffering. It's anguish. It's pain. And yet, we must have it - at any cost. But are you so enamored that you'll overlook your love of life? And you do love it. I have seen you smell the sea, gaze at the stars at night. Are you willing to sacrifice one mistress for another? Look into your heart and tell me that you're willing to make the choice!
Aren't you tired of this incessant guilt? Hasn't it swayed your back and stooped your shoulders to the point of throwing it off? You insist on taking responsibility for the actions and emotions of those around you, when they *alone* are truly responsible. It is so unnecessary. It is so mortal. And it must stop. This, and everything else that has happened tonight should make that clear to you.
It's time for both of us. we have come full circle. Nicholas, don't you see? You have overstayed your welcome. The pain that you're causing your mortal friends is no longer acceptable to them. Those that do survive will not allow your relationship with them to continue the way it was. They will demand change. and you will be compromised. One way or another. Nicholas, the time has come. I will be at your loft tonight for your decision. And then, I am leaving. With or without you.
There's a price to be paid. Love may be tasted but never savored. In our darkest moments we may envy mortality, but we should never aspire to it. Guilt is a poison. And staying past our time is death. But it need not be. If we truly care for a mortal, if we love one, then we must go. Isn't that something you taught me? Leaving is the purest form of love.
All that remains now is to lock the doors and turn out the lights. Unless, of course, you have decided to add her to our entourage. Oh, Nickolas, you have thought this through, haven't you?