Random Thoughts: First Off...

(Taken from the comic strip"Pearls Before Swines" by Stephen Pastis: http://stephanpastis.wordpress.com/

Yes, "First Off" is unlikely to accompany anything which you would really want to hear under normal circumstances. How nice it would be if we could nip it in the bud as Rat had done...

Random Thoughts: A Violinist in the Metro

A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that 1,100 people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

Three minutes went by, and a middle aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace, and stopped for a few seconds, and then hurried up to meet his schedule.

A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping, and continued to walk.

A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.

The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried, but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally, the mother pushed hard, and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.

In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money, but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the most talented musicians in the world. He had just played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, on a violin worth $3.5 million dollars.

Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100.

This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste, and priorities of people. The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?

One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be:

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing? 

P.S. The following comments were reproduced from Urban Legends, which confirmed that this event actually took place. The website is provided as follows: http://urbanlegends.about.com/od/music/a/violinist_metro.htm

For 45 minutes on the morning of January 12, 2007, concert violinist Joshua Bell stood incognito on a Washington, D.C. subway platform and performed classical music for passersby. Video and audio of the performance are available on the Washington Post website.

"No one knew it," explained Washington Post reporter Gene Weingarten several months after the event, "but the fiddler standing against a bare wall outside the Metro in an indoor arcade at the top of the escalators was one of the finest classical musicians in the world, playing some of the most elegant music ever written on one of the most valuable violins ever made." Weingarted came up with the experiment to see how ordinary people would react.

And how did they react? For the most part, not at all. More than a thousand people entered the Metro station as Bell worked his way through a set list of classical masterpieces, but only a few stopped to listen. Some dropped money in his open violin case (for a total of about $27), but most never even stopped to look, Weingarten wrote.

The text above, penned by an unidentifed author and circulated via blogs and email, poses a philosophical question: "If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?"

Which is fair to ask. The demands and distractions of our fast-paced workaday world can indeed stand in the way of appreciating truth and beauty and other contemplative delights when we encounter them. But it's equally fair to point out that there's an appropriate time and place for everything, including classical music. Was such an experiment really necessary to determine that a busy subway platform during rush hour might not be conducive to an appreciation of the sublime? Probably not, though it makes for an interesting story just the same. 

Random Thoughts: Racism

A 50- something year old white woman arrived at her seat on a crowded flight and immediately didn't want the seat. The seat was next to a black man.

Disgusted, the woman immediately summoned the flight attendant and demanded a new seat. The woman said "I cannot sit here next to this black man." The fight attendant said "Let me see if I can find another seat."

After checking, the flight attendant returned and stated "Ma'am, there are no more seats in economy, but I will check with the captain and see if there is something in first class."

About 10 minutes went by and the flight attendant returned and stated "The captain has confirmed that there are no more seats in economy, but there is one in first class. It is our company policy to never move a person from economy to first class, but being that it would be some sort of scandal to force a person to sit next to an UNPLEASANT person, the captain agreed to make the switch to first class."

Before the woman could say anything, the attendant gestured to the black man and said, "Therefore sir, if you would so kindly retrieve your personal items, we would like to move you to the comfort of first class as the captain doesn't want you to sit next to an unpleasant person."

Passengers in the seats nearby began to applause while some gave a standing ovation.

N.B. Whether or not the above the above story is true, the moral of the story is clear. All human beings are born equal, irrespective of race, language or religion. It is only when we all start to see ourselves as one, as the One, where we can begin to see the infinite possibilities which have been in existence in front of us all the while.

Random Thoughts: Cease & Desist - Classy As Jack Daniel's

It is certainly understandable that the companies of today emphasize greatly on protection of their intellectual properties such as trademarks. This is especially so for retail products that hinge on their branding in the market place. The standard response for any trademark infringement would very likely invoke legal actions with threats to sue. However, the folks at Jack Daniel’s, one of America’s most iconic brands, proceeded with something which is quite extraordinary from the run of the mill legal perspective, opted instead for true southern hospitality toward Patrick Wensink, a Louisville-based author of a new satirical novel entitled "Broken Piano For President".

When lawyers of the popular whiskey brand spotted the cover of the book, it looked uncannily identical to the iconic black and white bottle labels used by Jack Daniel’s. But rather than issue legal threats, the company’s lawyers sent him what the author described as the perhaps the world’s most polite cease-and-desist letter.

The letter from Jack Daniel’s attorney Christy Susman reads: "We are certainly flattered by your affection for the brand, but while we appreciate the pop culture appeal of Jack Daniel’s we also have to be diligent to ensure that Jack Daniel’s trademarks are used correctly… As an author you can certainly understand our position and the need to contact you. You may even have run into similar problems with your own intellectual property."

It further states: "Because you are both a Louisville 'neighbor' and a fan of the brand we simply request that you change the cover design when the book is reprinted." Furthermore, Jack Daniels offered to pay "a reasonable amount towards the cost" if Wensink changed the art sooner than the reprinting, including the digital cover.

However, the most critical part of this legal letter was perhaps the fact that it was  written by a decent human being who cared about civility. The act was respectable and classy, just like the Tennessee Whiskey it sells, Jack Daniel's.

Patrick Wensink's, the author of "Broken Piano For President", original post entitled "Whiskey Rebellion" first published on 19 July 2012 can be found at the following link: http://brokenpianoforpresident.com/2012/07/19/jack-daniels-lawsuit-the-full-scoop/

Random Thoughts: 三寸天堂

三寸差不多就是一米, "三寸天堂" 里的三寸日光应该是 "一米阳光" 的典故.

据传说终年云雾缭绕的玉龙雪山, 即使在最晴朗的日子, 阳光也无法穿透云层.

传说在秋分那天, 日月交合, 同辉同映, 神灵会在那天, 将人世间最完美的爱情阳光, 赐予人间. 如果那天云开雾散, 神奇的阳光就会铺满整个山谷. 每个被阳光抚摸到的人, 都会获得最美, 最圣洁的爱情.

但是善妒的山神, 在那一天从不开放胸, 那一天总是会有云, 有雾, 有雨. 所以人世间很难有完美的爱情.

而一米阳光就是上面故事的延伸. 虽然秋分这天的阳光无法穿透云层, 但是在玉龙和哈巴雪山交界, 穿空肃立最陡峭的崖壁上有一处山洞. 据说山洞里面居住的是殉情而死的风之女. 她痛恨山神刁难人世间的男女, 所以她会在秋分的正午时分, 趁山神打盹的工夫, 偷偷地将万丈爱情阳光, 剪下最绚丽的一米, 藏于山洞之中. 山神很快就会发觉, 他醒来后立刻追回那一米阳光.

所以这一米爱情阳光只能在人间停留一个盹儿的工夫就会消失. 如果有最勇敢最幸运的人, 在正午时分来到风之女的山洞里, 他们就会得到最绚丽的完美爱情.

Random Thoughts: The Peverell Story

(By The Butterbeer Experience: taken from the "Songs From Beedle The Bard" album)

 

I once happened ‘cross fair brothers three
Who thought they could use all their magic to thwart me
But I, being Death, being sly blocked their path
And said “Brave, cunning brothers oh what do you ask
I will give each a prize and then let brothers pass.”
 
The first brother begged “Please, Death, make me a tool;
A wand that will win every fight, every duel.”
So I broke a branch off of an elder tree
And I fashioned a wand for he thought he was worthy
And gave elder wand to the eldest of three.
 
Go, brother, I bid thee goodnight
I promise you’ll win all your battles and fights
But your wand will be stolen and you will be slain
Then you and I will meet again.
 
The next brother cried “Give me magic instead,
The power to bring others back from the dead.”
So I picked up a stone from the riverside
And I told him the pebble had magic inside
It would bring back the dead and his departed bride.
 
Go, brother I bid thee goodnight
You’ll see your love soon but things will not be right
You’ll drive yourself crazy 'cause she won’t be whole
And then I will claim your soul.
 
The youngest brother said “Death, I don’t trust your ways,
Please leave me alone ‘til the end of my days.”
And though I was reluctant, he was the wisest of the three
So I gave him my cloak of invisibility
And I let the young brother go free.
 
Go, brother I bid thee goodnight
Go take your new cloak and go live out your life
Be happy and healthy and when you are ready
You can take off your cloak and join me.
 
And that is the story of the Peverell brothers
They each made their choice, one wiser than others
They stripped me of wand and of cloak and of stone
And I bade young Ignotus be selfless and roam
And many years passed ‘til he called me his home
But I took the other two for my own. 

N.B. I rather like the moral of this story.

Random Thoughts: The Distance Of Conscience

(By Mahatma Gandhi)

The human voice can never reach the distance that is covered by the still small voice of conscience.

Random Thoughts: 延年

他向她求婚時，只說了三個字：相信我。
她為他生下第一個女兒的時候，他對她說：辛苦了。
女兒出嫁那天，他摟著她的肩說：還有我。
他到她病危的那天，重複的對她說：我在這。
她要走的那一刻，他親吻她的額頭輕聲說：你等我。
這一生、他沒有對她說過一次“我愛你”，
但愛....從未離開過。

Random Thoughts: Wages As An Influencer Of Performance

I extracted the following paragraph from the book "Why Employees Don't Do What They're Supposed To Do And What To Do About It (By Ferdinard F. Fournies)".

From my personal perspective, if there's one most important take-home point from this book, this is it.

According to human behaviour research, the weekly paycheck does not qualify as a reward that influences people's productivity. The psychologist B. F. Skinner once observed, "People don't come to work to get paid, they come to work so the pay doesn't stop." Additionally, in most business organizations, an employee can perform badly for a long period of time before the pay stops. Getting a weekly pay-check is like breathing; it only becomes important when it stops.

So in summary, nobody is going to be motivated to do better with just wages alone, regardless the quantum. It's also similarly unrealistic to suggest that an employee is supposed to be doing something because he is paid to do them. This is because what you think he should be doing may not necessarily be the same as what he (really) thinks he should be doing.

Random Thoughts: New Year's Day Prayer for One and All

Dear Lord,

So far this year I've done well.

I haven't gossiped, I haven't lost my temper, I haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or overindulgent. I'm very thankful for that. But in a few minutes, Lord, I'm going to get out of bed, and from then on I'm probably going to need a lot more help.

Amen.

Random Thoughts - Bearing Of Grudges

The interesting thing about the bearing of grudges against someone is that it would most likely not hurt anyone else (including that someone) other than yourself. This comic strip taken from Pearls Before Swines created by Stephen Pastis (first released on 1 September 2011) would succinctly demonstrate that fact.

Random Thoughts: Wittgenstein's Ruler - To Judge Or Not To Judge

I read "Fooled by Randomness: The Hidden Role of Chance in Life and in the Markets" by the esteemed Nassim Nicholas Taleb a while ago. In the process, I recall chancing upon a probabilistic mechanism referred to as the "Wittgenstein’s Ruler". I think it can be applied to explain the relationship between a person passing judgment on someone (the "judgor") and the someone being judged on (the "judgee").

Taleb says: "Unless the source of a statement has extremely high qualifications, the statement will be more revealing of the author than the information intended by him. This applies to matters of judgment. According to Wittgenstein's ruler: Unless you have confidence in the ruler's reliability, if you use a ruler to measure a table you may also be using the table to measure the ruler. The less you trust the ruler's reliability, the more information you are getting about the ruler and the less about the table. A practical example of Wittgenstein's ruler is: The information from an anonymous reader on Amazon.com is all about the person, while that of a qualified person, is going to be all about the book."

In the case of the judgor versus the judgee, unless the judgor has impeccable credentials and expertise in the area he is passing judgment on, his statement would normally be more revealing of himself than on the subject matter being judged. And more often than not, it would be his subjective bigotry on the subject matter that is revealed.

Random Thoughts - Indifference

(By Elie Wiesel)

The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.
The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference.
The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference.
And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.

P.S. Elie Wiesel was a Romanian born American writer who was awarded with the Nobel Prize for Peace in 1986. The Norwegian Nobel Committee called him a "messenger to mankind", noting that through his struggle to come to terms with "his own personal experience of total humiliation and of the utter contempt for humanity shown in Hitler's death camps", as well as his "practical work in the cause of peace", Wiesel had delivered a powerful message "of peace, atonement and human dignity" to humanity.

Random Thoughts: Propaganda

(By Joseph Goebbels, Minister of Propaganda of Nazi Germany)

“If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it. The lie can be maintained only for such time as the State can shield the people from the political, economic and/or military consequences of the lie. It thus becomes vitally important for the State to use all of its powers to repress dissent, for the truth is the mortal enemy of the lie, and thus by extension, the truth is the greatest enemy of the State.”

N.B. I am posting a topic which is rather negative for once. But regardless of how much we dislike acknowledging the truth behind this, the reality of the case is that as, Joseph Goebbels said, "the most brilliant propagandist technique will yield no success unless one fundamental principle is borne in mind constantly – it must confine itself to a few points and repeat them over and over". Have you ever had the experience of totally disliking a song the very first time you heard it over radio, but gradually began to accept and even like the song as it was played incessantly over and over again? How many other times have we begun to accept mere opinions and suggestions as truths which are then ingrained into our value and belief systems by virtue of the fact that they were drummed constantly into our consciousness?

Random Thoughts: Shareholders' Value vs. Stakeholders' Value

(By Mr. Ho KwonPing)

N.B. The following text is extracted and reproduced from the Executive Chairman's Statement in Banyan Tree Holdings Limited Sustainability Report 2009. The full Report may be downloaded at the following site: http://www.banyantree.com/csr/CSRPublications.php

Because of Banyan Tree’s reputation for Sustainability and Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR), I am often asked if spending money on such things comes at the expense of the shareholders, whose interests should always come first. This line of thinking says that while CSR is a laudable goal, it should not come at the expense of “maximising shareholder value”.

I have always responded that in fact, this mantra of “maximising shareholder value” is the very source for the downfall of American-style capitalism, as we have seen with the virtual collapse of the global financial system starting in late 2007.

And, not until we can redefine capitalism in a very fundamental way, can we restore business – and business leaders – to respectable status in society. Once we redefine what capitalism is about, we will see that far from being an external, “nice to have” feature, CSR is in fact a vital component of a sustainable business. The kind of capitalism practiced on Wall Street (Anglo-American Capitalism) has as its sole objective, the maximising of profits for the owners of capital, the shareholders. Management is incentivised to make as much profit as possible for shareholders, in the shortest time possible. This “short-termism” is basically what led to the debacles on Wall Street: working only to maximise profits for a short period, CEO’s got their bonuses and then got out; investors were happy to put money into private equity funds who did nothing but buy companies, load them with unsustainable debt which generated rapid short term growth, but eventually collapse. We have seen what happens with “maximising shareholder value”.

The concept of stakeholder vs shareholder is vital here. Stakeholders may not own shares in a company, but they have a vital stake in the welfare of the company. Stakeholders include employees, suppliers, and customers, and the community within which the company does its business.

If the community is a vital stakeholder in the company, then obviously CSR is the way to generate value for this group of stakeholders. The vital follow up question then is: by focusing on maximising stakeholder value, must a company inevitably accept lower profits? In other words, are stakeholder value and shareholder value contradictory?

My answer is a clear NO. If you look only for the short term, there is no doubt that maximising shareholder value and stakeholder value are contradictory. But, if you want an enterprise to be sustainable, you can only generate long term profits if you enhance the value of the company for all stakeholders.

For Banyan Tree be sustainably successful, we must create long term value for all stakeholders. At a time when business is so morally bankrupt, CSR is in fact NOT a drain on profits, but probably one of the only ways a company can regain its soul and recreate a sustainable model.

Yours Sincerely,

Ho KwonPing
Executive Chairman

N.B. Although this post seems more grounded in issues surrounding secular events (and, most certainly, a deviation from topics which i normally like to discuss), but I think there is a strong underlying spiritual theme beneath the business talks nonetheless.

There are only just that few entities which I am aware of that embrace social responsibility as part of its corporate governance, let alone publishing annual reports on its work on sustainable development and corporate social responsibility. As the Executive Chairman of Banyan Tree Holdings Limited ("Banyan Tree"), Mr. Ho (with his core management team) has led Banyan Tree from inception as a socially responsible business, which was in turn founded with the core value of driving sustainable development.

Banyan Tree's mission statement is:
"With the call to arms of embracing the environment and empowering the people, we seek to continue being an agent of social and economic development through responsible tourism. Our triple bottom line (economy, society and environment) help direct our sustainable development by inspiring associates, guests, and partners to take a wider consideration encompassing a long term view when making business decisions."

The Executive Chairman's Statement in Banyan Tree Sustainability Report 2009 serves as a timely reminder on what is really most important to us all as fellow members of the human community, of the present and of the future to come. I sincerely hope that we can one day all live up to the ideals which are propounded in this statement by Mr. Ho.

To Mr. Ho:
I subscribe wholly to what you have said. To entities which embrace profit maximisation strategies under the prevailing definition of capitalism, your ideals are surely considered to be unreasonable. But George Bernard Shaw said before, and I quote: "Reasonable people adapt themselves to the world. Unreasonable people attempt to adapt the world to themselves. All progress, therefore, depends on unreasonable people.". And it is my sincere hope that you will persist in being unreasonable, so that our future generations will also have the opportunity to experience Mother Nature as we have today. But most importantly, I hope that they will also know (through your ideals) and embrace the essence of equity when dealing with Mother Nature and their fellow human beings.

Random Thoughts - The Dark Night of the Soul

For whatever that is happening in our lives at the moment, there may be points in time during which when we enter into periods of crisis in our life. These times are reflected back to us by the Sixth Essene Mirror as our Quest for Darkness and these are the times which the ancients refer to as the “Dark Night of the Soul”. During the Dark Night of the Soul, we will be faced with what for us appear to be the greatest challenges or fears we have ever faced in our lives.

The Essene literature says that it is impossible for us to create for ourselves and to draw into our lives the situations and circumstances that provide us with the Dark Night of the Soul until we have already fully gathered upon ourselves all the necessary tools that will carry us gracefully through these experiences. When we experience life through our relationships with people and events in the world, we develop the arsenal and array of tools within us, and it is in the amassing of these tools and not until we have fully assimilated those tools into ourselves that we bring forth the Dark Night of the Soul. It is in the assimilation that triggers the Universe to bring upon ourselves the Dark Night of the Soul, not as tests for us to pass or fail in, but opportunities for us to demonstrate our mastery over our greatest challenges or fears. These experience is not possible until we know that we have everything that we need for us to move gracefully through those times. The Universe never puts more on our plates than we can deal with, and with free will, we always have a choice in every such experience to greet it as a powerful manifesting God or as a victim.

P.S. We live in an cause and effect world known as the “Plane of Demonstration” where we actively manifest into our lives people and events in accordance with what our consciousness believe to be necessary for progress of the whole. In other words, our collective consciousness participates in the creation of the reality around us. The Seven Essene Mirrors of Personal Relationship is a way by which we seek to understand how this process works. With these Mirrors, we can use what seem to be negative experiences as stepping-stones for us all to move towards greater healing and empowerment.

Random Thoughts - The World As I See It

I once learned that every person or event that crosses my path during my lifetime is an angel sent to teach me a particular lesson of life. In the same light as our inner consciousness creates the external reality around us, we manifest such angels into our lives in accordance with what lessons we need to learn. These angels, in one way or another, serve as mirrors that reflect to us an aspect of ourselves which needs healing and empowerment. Thereafter, even as these angels leave us, the experiences they leave behind coalesce into wisdom which will stay with us forever.

P.S. The above paragraph is an excerpt from a reply to Lena's article in Healing Insights of the same title in her newsletter sent on Feb 4th 2010:
http://soulmelodies.wordpress.com/2010/02/05/the-world-as-i-see-it/

This article came at the most timely manner to remind me of what I had already known but had momentarily forgotten. Through Lena's view of the world as she sees it, she has re-opened my eyes to the view of the world that I used to see. However, what resonates most deeply with me is this:
"On the contrary, I think that despite everything that has happened in our lives that may make us feel less positive about the world, deep deep deep within us we know that none of these negative stuff is true. That in that place inside you, there is a list that you have which would be very similar to mine."

Coincidentally, Feb 4th represents the first day (立春) after the actual turn of year from 2009 to 2010 based on the chinese solar calendar. Perhaps this might be the most excellent time to re-acquaint yourself with that place inside of you, that place where you have kept that list safe all these while, but had momentarily forgotten..

Random Thoughts: Lessons From Don Juan

(Carlos Castaneda)

A sudden gust of wind hit me that instant and made my eyes burn. I stared towards the area in question. There was absolutely nothing out of the ordinary.
“I can’t see a thing”, I said.
“You just felt it”, he replied.
“What? The wind?”.
“Not just the wind”, he said.
“It may seem to be wind to you, because wind is all you know”.

P.S. This is a follow-up on my previous Random Thoughts post marked "Columbus' Clippers". I asked previously, "how many times in our lives did we not see something simply because we did not believe that it was possible?" This time, I am asking "how many times in our lives did we not see something simply because we did not know?" Spiritually speaking, I think they are more or less the same question.

Random Thoughts - Columbus' Clippers

The premise demonstrated in this article is that we can only perceive what we believe is possible. In other words, our eyes cannot perceive what we don’t believe is possible even if it is just right there in front of us.

According to Dr. Candace Pert in “What the Bleep Do We Know?”, when Columbus first reached the Caribbean Islands, she narrated that the Native American Indians on the islands just couldn't understand from where Columbus and his crew came. When Columbus pointed at his clippers, or ships at that day and age, which were some distance off the coastline, the Natives could nothing but the endless Atlantic Ocean. This was even though these vessels were just sitting on the horizon in plain sight. This was because clippers as a concept were just beyond the Natives' comprehension and imagination. As a result, the clippers were "invisible" to the Native American Indians since their minds cannot even begin to construct the concept of seafaring vessels capable of crossing vast stretches of ocean.

The Sharman, on the other hand, noticed unusual ripples or wave forms, which were generated by the clippers docked offshore, hitting the shorelines since Columbus' arrival. He was determined to find out what caused them. And for several days, he stood by the coast staring out into the ocean, squinting his eyes to try seeing exactly what he was not seeining. Finally, the shapes of clippers materialized and he was at that instant able to see the clippers. Thereafter, as soon as he told his fellow Indians, they too could immediately begin to see the clippers simply because they believed the Sharman.

P.S. How many times in our lives did we not see something simply because we did not believe that it was possible?

Random Thoughts - Paradigm Shifts

What are paradigms as applied in the layman’s context and how do we shift such paradigms?

I personally find that this concept has been best illustrated by Dr. Stephen R. Covey in his bestselling book "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People". In fact, one of the very first topic that he covered in this book was in relation to paradigms. Simply put, a paradigm is basically the metaphorical lens which we look through when we view the world at large. Dr. Covey maintained that that if you want to make small changes in your life, you only need to change your ways. But if you want to make quantum leaps, you would need to change your paradigms.

Dr. Covey narrated a story to illustrate his case on paradigms. He got onto a quiet train one Sunday morning, where some people were asleep while others were reading the newspaper. Yet some others were chatting softly.

All of a sudden, the door to the train opened and a man got onto the train with his kids. The kids were extremely obnoxious. They were running around screaming and yelling. Dr. Covey and a few others on the train could not help but look over at the man to see if he was going to discipline them in some way, shape or form. The man, however, just sat there staring into space with a blank look on his face, almost oblivious to the way the children were behaving.

After a few more minutes of the disturbance and the man's lack of action to do anything about it, Dr. Covey felt obliged to say a few words to the man. He asked him if he was going to do anything about the obnoxious behaviour and began pointing out exactly how erratic the children were in fact acting.

The man then looked over at the children and then looked over at Dr. Covey and said "you're right, they are acting obnoxious but after all, they did just come from the hospital where their mother passed away a few hours ago."

Shocked and then instantly embarrassed, Dr. Covey's feelings immediately changed from the need to instruct the man to the need to console him and show him empathy for his loss.

What had happened was that Dr. Covey's paradigm has changed or shifted in that instance just after the man spoke. You would have noticed that the situation had remained exactly the same. The train was still silent. The children were still disrupting everyone else and the man was still doing nothing about it. What changed was the lens with which Dr. Covey was viewing these events through.

Many times, people can look at the same thing and see different things. The reason for this is that we all see the world through different paradigms. In a more generic sense, there is no event or circumstance in this world which has any intrinsic meaning until we attribute a meaning to it. The meaning we attribute to the event or circumstance then forms a paradigm for each of us. This paradigm then become part of our belief system which we will apply to other similar events and circumstances. Since we tend to attribute different meanings to the same event or circumstance, we will then react very differently to this event or circumstance after we filter it through our own paradigms and beliefs.

As I have always maintained, there are always 3 sides to any arguments, and they are yours, mine and the hypothetical right side.